Wednesday, February 23, 2011

5 Reasons the World WILL NOT End Soon

So yesterday I posted 5 reasons that I thought that the world was ending soon. If you missed it, you can read it here.

But I didn't want to alarm you with the fear of impending doom. I want to be fair, so here are 5 reasons why I think that the world WILL NOT end soon.

1. The Mayans predicted it-  The Mayans succeeded in several areas. Math, written language, .etc. But they didn't exactly succeed in the area of future predicting. There's something about having your civilization collapse without you realizing it that really hurts your the credibility of your future predictions. I hope no current Mayans read this, otherwise it could be really awkward for me if their prediction of Dec 2012 turns out to be true.

2. There is a Wedding this Saturday - It is every grooms nightmare that on the eve of his wedding, Jesus will decide to come back. I mean at least for the couples who have decided to wait until they are married know....pick out curtains....That's just a lame way to say have sex. I mean the two aren't even comparable. I hope my wife doesn't read this. Anyways, I imagine that God is so loving that He'll wait until the one Saturday that there are no weddings scheduled.

3. The Orioles haven't won the World Series - When Jesus said that the last shall be first, I don't think that he meant that we should apply that to Major League Baseball.  Otherwise, the Orioles would have won the last two world series. I think that if the O's win the Series I'll have to wonder if the end is coming. Being in the same division as the Yankees and Red Sox has re-assured me that this is not an immediate worry.  However, if we get to September and the O's are in 1st place I would suggest you start praying.....

4. Steve Jobs hasn't Declared It - Apple makes some cool devices that's for sure. In their press conferences though, Steve Jobs, sells them as if each device is the savior of mankind. FRET NOT PEOPLE! THE IPHONE 17 IS HERE! EVIL WILL NO LONGER EXIST! GET ONE! GET TWO! But I just read that the Ipad 2 is about to be released so maybe that'll usher in the end of the world.

5. I Can't Think of a No. 5 -  I know that this is a cop out and that you are probably want your money back. But, you're not the one who's son decided that he wanted to play at 3 am this morning.  I was honestly hoping for the end of time about then. Then perhaps I could get catch up on rest for the first half of eternity.

What signs do you see that say that the world WILL NOT end soon?


1 comment:

  1. 1. Pop Music is still on the rise!
    2. I am still not married, and so your #2 is a major hope.
    3. Lil Wayne (Jeezy, weezy, the Big W, or who ever) STILL sells a lot of records.
    4. Saw a giant RV saying that GOd was going to burn the earth this year. Debunking the Mayans. Go RV's!