Friday, December 3, 2010

Tis the Season pt 1 (worst Christmas songs ever)

Since it's  December we can now turn our attention to Christmas. You're welcome Pilgrims. So each week I'll be writing a post about Christmas called "Tis The Season".

If there is anything that drives me nuts it's listening to Christmas music before Thanksgiving. In fact we I have a rule in our house that you can't listen until Turkey Day is over. (Mollie listens to it all day on Black Friday. I think it's to get back to me.)

Honestly, I don't really like Christmas music. I like some songs but by the time Christmas rolls around I've heard each of them roughly 47,000 times. Lately as we've been listening to the holiday station on XM radio something unspeakable happens. The channel plays a series of terrible songs consecutively. That's right. It's a block of crappy Christmas music. So today I present to you the 10 worst Christmas Songs ever. (at least in my opinion)

1. Last Christmas - So last Christmas a guy gave his heart to a girl and she dumped him after a day. I'm still trying to figure out how this one night stand relates to Christmas other than the time of year that it happened. I just know we've heard this sung by the cast of Glee, Ashley Tisdale, and Taylor Swift already this year...ugh.

2. Little Drummer Boy(mollie's choice)- I asked Mollie why this was on the list. "It's stupid. Pa rum pa pum pum??? There wasn't even a drummer there. It's dumb...and it's annoying...and I didn't get any sleep last night. (perhaps I asked her at a bad time)

3. Christmas Shoes- I understand that this song is liked by a lot of people. It's sweet that the boy wants to buy a gift for his mom before she dies, but it's sooo stinking depressing. Somehow this song is always played right after Holly Jolly Christmas. It's like going from 60mph to Zero on the Jollyness scale.

4. Santa Claus Is Coming to Town - The Bruce Springsteen Version - It's live so I'll give him credit for that but it sounds like he drank an entire bottle of drain-o before singing it. It almost sounds like a warning as if Santa coming to town was similar to the redcoats advancing on the colonies.

5.  Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer- I mean really, who dislikes their grandma enough to enjoy this song. You should be ashamed.

6. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus -  Imagine a kid who actually saw his mom kissing Santa Claus. That kid is definitely going to have some issues when he grows up. Two words: Emotional Therapy.

7. Santa Baby - Essentially a spoiled woman flirts with Santa in order to get whatever she wants. I heard that the Madonna version was particularly bad. I'm going to look it up on YouTube...... I can't even think of words to describe that.

8.  Feliz Navidad -  I get a lot of complaints about including this one. My question to those people is always, have you listened to the full version at just over 7 minutes?  it goes through the verse and chorus about 97 times.

9. All I Want for Christmas is You -  If a woman said that to me, I probably wouldn't believe it. Really? that's all you want? As a guy that puts us in an awkward place. I mean I should really say it back to you but I really want a Xbox too.  I guess that "All I want for Christmas is a Xbox and You" is not a catchy title. And there is a good chance that if you say that to a woman you probably won't be getting either for Christmas.

10. Oh Holy Night - The Bad Version -  I love the song Oh Holy Night but the following version is terrible. I mean TERRIBLE. I once played it in a church office and the secretaries came running because they thought that someone was hurt. Check it out. You'll see what I mean. (props if you can sit through the whole thing)

Do you agree with any of my choices?
Do you have any choices you would like to add?
Comment Below.


  1. When I worked at Fashion Bug in college, GM's 'Last Christmas' was on the Muzak at this time of year, so I heard it abt 10 times every shift. I know all the words... yet I hate myself for it.

    I hate the Little Drummer Boy song, too, but have always felt guilty for my hatred since it is a song abt Jesus vs. Santa, reindeer, Christmas shoes, etc.

    Bruuuuuuuuuuuuuce always sounds like that which is why none of his songs are on my Ipod.

    My only disagreement with your list is Feliz Navidad. I love that song even if it is ridiculous. It makes me feel cultured and worldly since I know both lines of Spanish in it. :Pw3a

  2. P.S. O Holy Night is my favorite Christmas carol. I have the *NSYNC version on my Ipod. Try not to be too jealous. :)

  3. Props to me, but only because I couldn't stop laughing. That version was just as hilarious as it was terrible! So is your list in order or no random order?

  4. Jan- No particular order.
    LeeAndra- I wouldn't go around admitting that!

  5. Dear child,
    I hope that one day if I have cancer and am dying on Christmas Eve you will understand that it is not necessary to go out and spend your last few pennies at Saxon Shoes. I’m pretty sure Jesus will understand if I arrive at heaven in last year’s Nikes. And even though it makes for a sentimental holiday favorite tune, Jesus doesn’t really care about my fashion footwear choices. While we’re on the subject, I’m also a bit concerned that dad let you go out Christmas shopping by yourself, emotionally compromised and begging strangers for money. And as your mom I would appreciate spending the last few hours of my life with you.


  6. Your brother-in-law has "O Holy Night" by 98 Degrees. Are you more jealous now? He can probably get you a copy of the whole cd if you like.

  7. Once my cousin changed my grandma's answering message to say, "Grandma got run over by a reindeer and can't answer the phone." Then Grandma didn't know how to switch it back, so it was on there for about six months. AWESOME!

    And I totally disagree with "All I Want for Christmas is You." Mariah Carey's version is the best way to dance around & get pumped for the Christmas season!

  8. Jon, this seriously made me laugh nonstop for 5 minutes. And I got about 34 seconds into the Oh Holy Night song before I puked and turned it off :D

  9. i made my roommate who loves christmas music listen to o holy night. it was really funny. for me.