Tuesday, February 22, 2011

5 Reasons The World is Going to End Soon

I was reading in the Bible this morning and ran across a portion of scripture where Jesus gives people a head's up about some things that will happen when the end of the world is coming. Now I don't think that anything needs to be added to Jesus' list, but there are a few things that cause me to believe that the end of the world is coming.

Here are 5 of them:

1. Larry the Cable Guy has a show on the History channel -  Go ahead and re-read that. Yep. I could technically end the list right here but I won't. I mean really, who at the History channel thought that this was a good idea? The show is about Larry searching for things that pertain only to America. The first thing that was mentioned was a donkey that can shoot basketball.  There's something that will improve our reputation internationally. I was thinking that maybe they would cover the origin of, i don't know, Apple Pie. I mean the saying isn't, "American as basketball shooting donkeys".   And when did the History channel take a hiatus from their 20 year coverage of Hitler?  Anyways, I'm sure I'll be glued to the tv for this one.

2.  The Fast and The Furious 5-  Somewhere in a board room a group of rich people sat and said this: "You know, Tokyo Drift was a good movie, we should make another one." In fact, I had no clue that there was FAF4 in there too. It slipped in there sometime a couple years back. No, this is supposed to be the last one ever, at least until the 6th one comes out. It will  be titled "The Slightly Less Fast and Less Furious, the Buick Skylark Years" Sigh. As long as Paul Walker isn't in this one it'll be ok......hmm.....a quick visit to imdb.com has shown that he is indeed in this movie. Now I'm praying for the end of days.

3. The Price of Cereal-  Have you actually looked at the price of cereal lately? Holy Cow. When buying cereal I feel like I need to borrow against my house. Soon there will be a sign on the cereal aisle that reads: "You have been Pre-Approved to purchase Frosted Flakes: followed by a bunch of small legal jargon that no one reads but promises Kellogg's your first born child or french poodle named FiFi. " If there is anything that we need to fix in this country it's cereal prices. Seriously. I eat it for every other meal.

 4. The NBA still has an All- Star Game -  does anyone still watch the NBA? that being said, at least the Dunk Contest was interesting again. Check this out.

5. Because it's Predicted for May 21st of this year-  Some church in Pennsylvania has predicted that Judgement Day is set for May 21st and the Earth will be destroyed in October. They come to these dates by reading almost every Bible verse out of context and then making up some math based on numbers in those verses. They even challenge what Jesus said when he said "no one will know when the end of the world is except God". So they mis-interpret the Bible, make up math, and challenge Jesus.   So why am I including them on this list?  Because if I were God,  I would end the world the day AFTER they predicted.  I just think that would be funny.

Do you have any thoughts on when the end of the world will be?



  1. HAH!!! I love it. Unlike the Penn church, I'm holding out for the "more likely" 2012 prophecy. I would love to have a bird's eye view alongside God as he waits that extra day... "Gotcha". In defense of #2, Fast and Furious (the 4th Fast and the Furious) wasn't bad. Most of the original cast, picked up the "storyline" from the 1st one and closed up any questions (until now.......).

  2. I would rather the world NOT end the spring break of my senior year of high school (December 2012), but hey, God is God. He can do whatever He wants (: