So a couple of weeks ago I went to a Christmas party for my Sunday school class. I was standing around enjoying a plate full of deliciousness when I felt someone watching me. I looked to the left. Nothing. I looked to the right. Nothing. I continued my conversation but I couldn't shake that feeling that someone was watching me.
Then I saw him.
The Elf.....on the Shelf. (or more accurately, on the refrigerator)
I'm just finding out about the new Christmas phenomena called "Elf on the Shelf." You might be saying, "Jon, I know not of what you speak." That's not surprising. Elf on the Shelf is something that is gaining momentum every year. If you have never heard of this growing trend let me explain it to you. Let's go way back.
You know the song "Santa Claus is Coming to Town"? (not the Bruce Springsteen version, shudder.) What are the lyrics to that song? "He sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake. He knows when you've been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake..."
But how does Santa see you and know when you've been bad or good? Enter the Elf on the Shelf. The Elf hangs out at your house and watches you. Then every night he flies back to the North Pole to tell Santa what you've been up to. Then he flies back every morning and lands in a new place in your house. Each morning you are supposed to go on a search to find where the Elf has landed.
As you might have guessed I have some thoughts about this...
1. Does anyone find this creepy? - I mean the idea that there is an elf watching my every move is a bit alarming. I mean what happens if the Elf inadvertently flies and lands on the shelf in the bathroom. That's just awkward.
2. What's considered naughty? - We all know that presents are what are driving this whole naughty/nice thing. If we're naughty we get less. But what is considered naughty? I'm sure hitting my sister when I was a kid was naughty, but what if it's something less. What if I had a problem picking my nose and flicking it on the carpet? (uh... hypothetically, of course) Is that considered naughty? What if I picked the lock to my sister's diary? (again... hypothetically) I mean the Elf on the Shelf wouldn't report that, would he?
3. Is Santa part of the CIA? - When did Santa get into the surveillance world? I thought he kept eyes on us through some sort of Christmas magic. It turns out he has a whole host of agent elves reporting back to him. I feel like the elves should all be wearing black suits with those little ear pieces like CIA agents wear in the movies. I think that this might be the next step in fighting the war on terror. I mean who can resist the little elf sitting there and staring at them....nope, not even terrorists.
4. I just had a flashback to 1984 - Not the year. No one wants to flashback to the actual 1984. Besides, I was 3 and couldn't remember anything. I'm talking about the book "1984." If you haven't read it, pretty much the government watches EVERY part of your life. If you say or do anything contrary to the government you are "brought in" to be re-educated. I can just see it now.
Kid -"You know this whole Santa thing is a joke. I'm not sure if I believe anymore."
Elf- "That's it, you're coming with me kid. No one calls the big man a 'joke!'"
Kid - "I didn't mean it, I'm sorry!"
Elf - "It's too late. Repeat after me. "I love BIG SANTA"
(If you haven't read 1984, this whole reference is lost on you. I'm sorry)
5. We tend to see God like Elf on the Shelf. - I'll be writing on this early next week. Then I'll link to it so you can see what I mean.
So what are your thoughts when it comes to Elf on the Shelf?