When the pages of history are all written out and complete, there will be a mention of my name. It will say something like "Jonathan Greenhill: Killer of Thousands". No, change that. "Jonathan Greenhill: Killer of MILLIONS"....that's more like it. How can I be so cruel you ask? It's easy when what you are killing are small and evil and live in a nest in the ground. I'm talking about ants. Yes, ants. Not the typical larger black ants that somehow get into your picnic baskets. I'm talking about the little red ones that show up in your yard one day and the next 100,000 of their friends join them. I'm talking about the ones that bite and cause a little bump on your arm or leg. Those are nasty little evil ants. And our yard had a lot of them. That is until "Jonathan the Terrible" came along. I counted at least 4 separate nests of the evil ants. (not to be confused with evil Aunts which are totally different) I bought some ant spikes at Lowe's and put a spike into each of the nest. Ants came and got "food" and took it back to their fellow ants and Queen. What they didn't know (because they are ants and not capable of deep abstract thought) is that the "food" was actually poison! Within 24 hours all 4 ant nest were gone....
On a lighter note, "Jonathan the Terrible" can also be referred to as "Jonathan the partially environmental" For 3 weeks ago I put out a lot of grass seed to cover the spots of my lawn where there was no grass. (my lawn looked like a leopard) This week I have noticed roughly 46
new blades of grass growing into the yard. I must say I felt very proud and showed my wife at least 4 times the amazing feat of growing grass. Of course now that I think about it, I just through grass seed where there was no grass (i did kill most of the grass in those spots myself last summer) and that's it. God watered it, gave it heat and sunlight, and caused it to grow. So even though I take pride in my lawn, I suppose I should give credit where credit is due. Thanks God. I just hope He doesn't have anything against me smiting ants....... :-)