Growing Through Pain

The good thing about having kids that are a year apart is that you can time all of their doctor's checkups at the same time. This saves my wife an extra trip to the doctor's office and little bit of sanity. This morning was that day. We took my daughter Kate for her 18 month checkup and my son Drew for his 6 month checkup.

The greatest part of a doctor office visit is the fish tank. Obviously. I think that when they are planning to open a new practice the first thing that they debate is how big of a fish tank that they will have. I'm not 100% on this but I'm pretty sure if you don't have a fish tank in your doctor's office then they might not be licensed.

The worst part of a doctor's visit with two children under 2 is....well everything after the fish tank. The part that I particularly hate is the time when they get their shots. I can't even look for fear of passing out. The doctor comes in with her tray of needles. I know that you're cringing right now. I can sense it.

The hardest part is that you have to sit there and restrain your child while they are receiving pain. I fight every bit of me to not push the doctor away and pick up my crying little girl and cradle her. I want so desperately to do it but in the end I don't. Why not?

Because I know that this pain is a good thing. 

I know that there are diseases in this world and that they could easily take the life of me and my kids. I wish it wasn't that way. I didn't make it that way.  But the truth is that there are sicknesses. I know that by giving my kids these shots I'll reduce their chances of contracting those diseases. In a sense, because of the pain, they are able to grow. 

One of the questions that I get a lot is, "If God is good, why do bad things happen?"  I often answer that bad things happen for a number of reasons and then I go back and retrace where pain entered into the world.

God didn't create the world with diseases, pain, or even death. Adam and Eve could have lived forever if they had steered clear of the one thing that God told them to steer clear of! But it happened. They ate from the tree and introduced sin into the world. After that, you have sin, pain, even death. 

Ok that's where pain came from, but can it really be a good thing?

Paul writes this in Romans 5;

³More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, ⁴and endurance produces character, and character produces hope,..."

Rejoice? In suffering? In Pain? 

When I think back to the things that have caused my pain in my life I think that they have helped me grow. Like the verse says, my pain has increased my endurance. I'm able to endure more in this life then I could have a long time ago. Hopefully my endurance has helped me build my character. and my character has built.

Hope.

One word that means so much. You see when I experience pain it's a reminder to me that this is not how it's supposed to be. God didn't make it this way. God wanted more for mankind. God has promised us more. He has promised that one day Christ will come back and we will live forever in a pain free heaven. 

Pain reminds me of the promise of Heaven and eternity with God. 

Pain reminds me to have Hope for something better.

Pain reminds me to have hope. 

I pray that the pain in your life will remind you of God's promises. 

I pray that the pain in your life will help you grow. 

I pray that the pain in your life will give you hope.

Jon

I got Called Out. (an honest admission)

When you are in ministry you are going to upset people. It's usually unintentional but it happens. Usually it's a result of a difference in vision or execution of ministry. A lot of those times revolve around the fact that people think things should be run different ways. It's one of those things that comes with the territory.

But there are times that you have legitimately wronged someone. That's where I found myself last week. I had someone come to me and ask for a meeting. Let's go ahead and set something straight. If someone asks for a meeting, it's bad news. If it were happy news they would just tell you. Instead they want to set up a meeting.

This person set up a meeting with me to discuss some things that had come up. When we meet the person lays it out straight. They told me that they cared for me and because of that they needed to call me out on some things.

Early on in my time at my current church I told people that I wanted ideas from everyone. I wanted it to be a community of ideas, not just me. This person let me know that lately it had become more my way or the highway. Parents had mentioned it. Students had mentioned it.

This person went on to say that a couple of parents had also mentioned that when I'm talking to them I tend to zone out. My wife can confirm this often! My interaction with these parents (or lack of interaction) had caused them to feel unimportant.

Ouch.

It was incredibly tough to hear those things. It still kind of stings when I think about it.

But it's something that I desperately needed to hear

The meeting was great. Painful but great. How can that be?

In Psalm 25:5-6, the psalmist says:

 ⁵ Better is open rebuke
   than hidden love.
 ⁶ Wounds from a friend can be trusted,
   but an enemy multiplies kisses. 

Essentially, if someone truly loves you, they'll call you out when you are being an idiot. They'll do it out of love and not just to get you in trouble. They'll come to you instead of talking about you behind your back. They'll confront you in your sin instead of sucking up to you only to stab you later.

I'm truly grateful for the people who contributed to help call me out. Hopefully they won't have reason to do it again anytime soon.

I want to encourage you in this post. If you need to call someone out. Take a few minutes to think and pray about it. Go to that person in love. Remember, wounds from a friend can be trusted.

If you have any thoughts, feel free to share them below!

Jon

Playing with Plungers

Kate In the Bathroom

If you know me, you know that I love my little girl Kate.  I like to think she's a daddy's girl. We play together a lot. It's great being a dad and watching her grow up.  It's amazing to watch her become interested in different things around our house. Notably the bathroom....more notably the plunger.

One day Kate started going in the bathroom and closing the door behind her. She would then shout in the darkness to see what would happen. Then she would open the door and step out and smile like she had just discovered the world....cute right?

After a few times of doing this I just assumed that's what she would anytime do when she went into the bathroom. Yeah, I was wrong.

One day we were sitting in the living room when we hear Kate do her usual yell in the bathroom. All of a sudden things got quiet. Working with teenagers I've learned at least one thing. Quiet is bad. It means someone is up to something. I sat and listened for a minute. Flwop.....Flwop.....Flwop, Flowp, Flowp..... I got up and walked over to the bathroom door. I opened it slowly. Kate was standing in the middle of the bathroom bouncing the plunger on the floor. Flwop. Flwop.

Now Kate knows that playing with the plunger is not an ok activity. We have caught her several times playing plumber in the bathroom. Each time we tell her that the plunger is not a toy to play with. You might be saying, Jon a 17 month old might not understand all of that....oh, you just wait.

When I got up and found Kate Flwopping in the middle of the bathroom, I walked in, returned the plunger to it's corner, and told Kate that we did not play with the plunger.

Kate, with her beautiful blue eyes, simply looked up at me and reached for the door. She closed it every so gently while never taking her eyes off of mine. She shut the door and it was silent for about 5 seconds.


FLWOP......FLWOP....FLWOP,FLWOP,FLWOP......

She had looked at me and stared me down and INTENTIONALLY closed the door to do the thing that I just instructed her not to do. Now if she didn't know that it was wrong, why did she close the door in order to hide?

I'm like this with God so often. I get caught up in sin and God gently but firmly reminds me, "This is not what i have for you. If you want the best life, you shouldn't do that. It goes against my way"

And in my own little way I try to hide my heart and my life from God. I think that somehow I can hide my sin from God. All the while He is simply waiting for me to come out of hiding so that He can show me what it means to truly live.

He wants me to have abundant life. I want to play with crap covered plungers.

Here's a question for you. 

Are you experiencing abundant life?

Or are you playing with plungers?

Jon

Taco Bell and Sinning.

A couple of weeks ago I had a craving for Taco Bell. For the life of me I can't figure out why. But it happens every once in a while. I'll get an urge to partake in a soft taco. Let me describe my Taco Bell experience for you.

I drive to the Taco Bell that is closest to my office. I walk in and see a good number of people sitting there eating lunch. There are also a good number of people working. The problem is that no one was happy. It was like some weird fast food purgatory.

I get in line and order my food which is 3 soft tacos. I get chicken instead of beef. Everyone tells me that the beef is grade D. I'm not sure if it is. I just know I prefer to eat chicken instead. The problem is that it cost $3 extra for chicken. I dig into my food. Remember this is the food that I was craving, that I was longing for...and it was just ok.

You ever crave something and when you eat it's the most blissful thing you've ever done? As you put it in your mouth the heavens open up and you hear an Angelic choir. It is the best thing ever!! Have you ever had that feeling?

Well this was not it. It was standard. It was boring. It was not exciting.  So i did what anyone would do. I put taco sauce on it. That should make it better. And it did for a little bit. It satisfied my for the time being.

Fast forward two hours in my office. My stomach is starting to murmur its protest against me. All of a sudden a sharp pain starts stabbing me in my stomach. It was bad. I spent a good chunk of the evening in the bathroom trying to recover. I paid extra for this??

I find that sinning is a lot like eating at Taco Bell. I mean it seems like such a good idea before you do it. Perhaps you get a craving or desire that comes up. Then you ease into sin.  You think, it can't be that bad. You think this will satisfy you. And sometimes it does. but a lot of times it doesn't. And there we are. Stuck with our sin that no longer satisfies us. The problem is that just like chicken tacos, sin costs us more than we bargained for. It costs us our closeness from God. Sin pulls us away from God. It keeps us away from God and it keeps us from living the abundant life that God promised us through Jesus. Sometimes we have to sit in the bathroom of life trying to recover from our sinful choices.

In the end we are much worse off than we were before. What seemed to be a good idea has ultimately let us down. What seemed to satisfy has actually caused a void that leaves us more hungry. Here's to hope that I learn my lesson about Taco Bell and sin?

Are there any restaurants that make you feel this way?

I'm Better Than You. (at least I think so)

A couple of weeks ago my wife and I were leaving our house to go to lunch with our kids. As I was walking out to the car I was embarrassed at how overgrown my yard had gotten. Having a child at the end of April and then having a job that gets busier in the summertime means that my yard gets neglected the most. It was in pretty bad shape that day. I quickly scanned the neighborhood to see if there were any neighbors who were looking disdainfully my way. No one. I hurried to my car and got in before anyone could come out and say something.

We pulled out of our driveway and were heading down the street. That's when we passed the doctor's house. I'm kind of ashamed to say that I don't know the name of many people on my street. So my wife and I give nick names to the people who live near us. (sad I know.) This guy is a doctor. So he is "doctor guy".

As I drove past "Doctor Guys" house I noticed something wonderful. Something amazing. Something simply breathtaking. His grass was higher than mine! Oh the joy!! I wasn't the worst yard on the street...my yard wasn't nearly as bad as "Doctor Guy"'s yard. I even said something like that.

"Look, our yard isn't nearly as bad as his yard. And he's a doctor!" - I'm not sure why I said that. I mean does being a doctor grant you some kind of gardening prowess that other professions just don't have??

I can't remember exactly what my wife said but it was something like. "You know that what you just said is really messed up, right?

I knew it was messed up, but for a second I felt better about myself because someone else fell short. 


I think that humans fall victim to this all the time. We look at our lives and we aren't completely happy with where we are. We see sin in our lives that is pretty bad. We feel guilty about it and then out of no where we run into someone who has a worse life than we do! We run into someone who sins so much more than we do.

and we feel better about ourselves. I'm not as bad as that guy.  Her sin is worse than mine. 


In the words of my wife; "You know that's messed up right?"

When we continue to think this way a couple of things happen...

1. We sell short the grace of Jesus Christ. - The truth of the matter is that we are ALL sinners. We ALL make mistakes. We ALL fall short of the what God designed for us. There's a key word there, did you catch it?  ALL.   Jesus Christ died for us all. He died to take on ALL of our sin. For me to say that my sin is better than someone else's is like me saying that I need Christ less than them. Essentially because their sin is worse than mine, they need Jesus more than me. That defeats what Jesus did when he died on the cross. You need Christ no matter how messed up your life is. Billy Graham needs Christ. Osama Bin Laden needs Christ. whoa, it's weird putting those into the same post....which I guess proves my point.....

2. We lose focus on where our lives need work- If I feel like I can get away without doing yard work...I'll try to get away with it. If I feel that someone else's sin is worse than mine it sort of gives me permission to sin more. I mean I'm just envying this guy because of his sweet car. He sells crack. I'll never be as bad as him and so I'll keep envying away (now I have Billy Graham and crack selling in the same post. I'm not sure if I should be proud or sad) Anyways...When our eyes are constantly judging others, we don't ever look at ourselves and as a result we never grow closer to God.

It's weird to say something and immediately know that it was wrong. After my wife so kindly told me that my thought was messed up, I knew it was true. But part of me still felt OK. The craziest part of the story is that we went to lunch and came home two hours later. As I drove up the street I looked to "Doctor Guy's" house. Much to my horror, his yard had been cut, weeded, and cleaned in the time that we were gone. In my time of judging him and his yard, he had taken the initiative to change it.  I think you can guess the life lesson here.


Do you ever jump to judge others? (i'm guessing this will be rhetorical as most people don't readily admit this to comment on it!)

The Real Me vs. The Fake Me

So I know that there are two of you. There is the real you..... and there is the you that you let others see. I'm on to you. It's ok. I'm that way too. We are all. But why? Why is it that we pretend to be someone else?....

This all started while I was reading a news article online about a singer who had collapsed on stage. This singer is in a band that I used to like a while back and so it caught my interest. I read the article and scanned down to where people can comment on the news. BIG MISTAKE.


It's interesting because the two places that I see two sides of people is online and at church.

In this article the comments went on and on about how the singer wasn't any good anyways and that his collapse probably had to do with the fact that he was a terrible musician... Honestly this frustrated me because I feel like the singer was fairly talented. I wanted to write something mean to respond to those comments. I wanted to show them up. I wanted to belittle them and make them look stupid. I wanted to be....just like them.

The internet allows us to be whoever we want. I can say mean things and rip you to shreds because I will never have to face you. As I was sitting and thinking through the the things I could write, a thought hit me. If this guy was standing next to the singer, would he call him a "no talent hack"? No. In fact, he most likely would stand there quietly and wait for the singer to leave before insulting him.

There are two of each of us. It's sinful nature at it's worst. Paul says in the book of Romans that he struggles with this. He says that he does everything that he DOESN'T want to do and he doesn't do everything that he wishes he would do. He is torn between his two natures.

You and I are the same way. Everyone struggles with this. It is a part of our very being.

Paul goes on to ask, "who can save me from this?" He goes on to say that it is through Jesus that we are saved.

My prayer for you today is that you will understand that we are all this way. We all have two natures that are always fighting each other. I pray that you understand what Christ did for us and that it will help you through times when your more hateful nature begins to come through.

And I pray that God will guide us away from the sinful side of our lives so that our lives can reflect His love. That's my prayer today.

The Theology of Haircuts.

What is it about haircuts? There is something about going in and getting your hair cut off that is refreshing. I got my hair cut on Wednesday and I walked out feeling like a new person. My hair going into the appointment was a mess. It stuck out everywhere and just got in the way and it was hot on those 90 degree days.. That's when I went in and got it cut. Having all of my hair gone felt much better.

I wasn't always this way. I used to hate getting my hair cut. I think it had to do with the fact that I went to a barber shop to a guy named Walter who would talk loudly and wave his hands around while trying to cut my hair. There is something that isn't reassuring about a guy who waves a pair of scissors at your head while you are strapped to a chair. I don't know, maybe I'm the only one who feels that way.

I think there was something else. I hated change when I was young. No, really, I HATED CHANGE. Seriously, I cried on New Year's Eve 1989 because I was sad that the 80's were gone. ( I can't believe that I just admitted that). But I did. I hated change. I didn't think there was anything wrong with my hair. Here's how bad it was. When I was 9, I had a rat tail. (wow, another admission that I could have done with out.) I had one of several forms of "The Mullet". I had a mullet and I didn't want to get it cut. I cried when I went to Walter's Barber Shop. I climbed into the chair and he took his scissors and cut it off. He then held it up and made a war cry that someone would cry after scalping someone. The guy was terrifying. I cried all afternoon. I didn't see anything wrong with my hair. 

So what happened? Somewhere along the way I realized that change didn't have to be a bad thing. In fact, change could free me from things that were keeping me down. I began to embrace change. Sometimes it was still painful. Sometimes I had to let go of things that I had held on to for years. But I started to see change as a good thing. Haircuts soon became a chance for a new beginning. It was a chance to take away the mess that my hair had become and start again from scratch.

I hate it when my sin is pointed out to me. Whether it's by the Bible, or a sermon, my wife, or prayer, it hurts. It hurts to hear that I had been going against God's will and that I need to change. It is painful to change our lives to reflect God. But it's just like a haircut. Sometimes we let our lives get messy. We let sin into our lives and it just gets in the way and messes everything up. If we let this sin continue we will ultimately be overwhelmed. We might get to the point where we don't see anything wrong with how we are living.

Even though it's tough, we need to confront the sin in our life just like we need to get our hair cut. We need the ability to start fresh. We need a clean slate. We need to cut all of the sin out of our lives so that we can start from scratch. It's beautiful that God can do this for us through Christ Jesus. Our lives can be completely changed if we would accept the notion that we are sinners and that God can help cut the sin from our lives. We can encounter God and feel like a new creation.

That's the theology of a haircut.