*Before you jump into this post like I know you will, you might want to take a look at the introduction here. This post is part of a series and should be read in order...*
It all started on a long drive. Somehow my deep thoughts always do. I had been with a large group of people for a few hours one Saturday, (which for an introvert was exhausting enough) but as I settled into my drive I started to think back over the previous few hours. When I thought about the time, I became sad. Really sad.
I had sat and observed everyone around me during that time and the realization hit me.
"These people don't know God. I'm not ever sure they want to know God. Some of them proclaim to know God and follow Him, yet what I saw today makes me wonder.."
First off, I never ever want to pass judgement on who knows God and who doesn't. Only God can truly do that. However I can look at someone's life and make an educated guess. And when I look at the world around me I see a lot of people who don't know God...and that kills me.
It kills me that there are people out there who don't have the peace that I do. It kills me that they don't know TRUE hope. It kills me that instead they put their hope in things that ultimately will either leave them empty or lead them to more pain.
One of my favorite songs is by a band called Project 86. It's called "One Armed Man". The song is essentially about this point. There are people who seek to find happiness and fulfillment and end up searching forever because they never find what they are looking for. One line goes like this:
"zombies staring, looking my way, crying out for something they can fill their stomachs with enough to satisfy the hunger growing.....they need something REAL." (look it up...it's very loud.)
It hasn't always been this way. In fact, I would hear people talk about how they were overwhelmed because they knew people who were looking to Alcohol, relationships, drugs, work, and other stuff to fill the void in their lives. I would hear people saying that and I would wonder what was wrong with me. I didn't really notice. I even prayed about it. "God help me see people who need to know you.
God likes prayers like that. And boy did He respond.
So that brings me to my drive home. I had just been with a group of people who were seeking to find fulfillment in every single place that won't give it to them. I've seen it in so many teenagers over the years. Constantly searching for love and acceptance that they'd so anything to get it. I've seen it with adults who work non-stop just to feel like they've made a difference. It may sound harsh to compare these people to zombies. But when you watch someone who is looking for comfort consistently turn to something that hurts them, it's like watching a zombie. And besides that, I was once a zombie. We all live that life at some point.
In the Bible, the book of Ephesians says this: "For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord." Notice that it doesn't say we were "IN darkness" it says we "WERE darkness"
We were darkness.
I'm a zombie, you're a zombie, we're all zombies..hey...hey. ( i can sense a pop song here).
As I drove down the interstate I sat and thought about each person I had seen. I thought about how they were trying to find fulfillment, and I thought of how it would probably leave them empty. It was sad and overwhelming. As I drove, I felt burdened for those people. That's where I realized that following God can lead to being burdened.
But that's not the end. Fortunately, that verse from Ephesians has a second half. And that half leads us to the Hope of Following God. But that's another post altogether.
until next time,
jon
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Monday, June 27, 2011
The Burden of Following God - the explanation
The problem about writing for me is that I never know what I'm going to write next. I decided that for a season that I wouldn't have a real plan for this blog. I would simply write when I felt the need to write. I wasn't trying to grow my blog or increase my readers (you 7 readers are the best readers anyways). I simply wanted an outlet for whatever God has put on my heart.
The problem comes when what God is putting on my heart is tough to say and tough to hear.
I've been sitting on this one for a while. It's been percolating up in my brain which can be dangerous. It's grown from a single thought to a multi-part series that is still growing. But it's tough to write something as you are still trying to figure out. So the next few posts are going to be part of my processing.
I'm calling this series. The Burden of Following God
Just the title is hard for me to write. I guess it's because for 10 years I've tried to tell people of all of the great things about following God. It seems weird to start a post talking about the burdens of following God. I mean why would you want to talk about the negative aspects of a potential decision?
"Hello sir. You should buy this car! It's got an amazing interior. It has awesome engine in it! And it gets 3 miles to the gallon which will cause you quickly to abandon your child's college fund and you'll have to mortgage your house in order to afford the gas for it!"
So that's a crappy analogy but you get the idea. It's weird to start off by talking about the burdens of something. So why do it?
1. I Hate Sugar Coating- Unless it's on top of an otherwise bland bowl of cereal, I hate sugar coating. But in the church, we've done this for far too long. We've made it sound like following God is a walk in the park. Like all of a sudden when you follow God, everyone sings everywhere they go and there are always flowers and puppies. (this going on the assumption that flowers and puppies make people happy). The truth is that life is still hard after following God...and sometimes it's hard as a result of it. (sometimes the flowers give you allergies and the puppies pee on your new shoes). I feel like it's time to be honest with people. Following God is hard.
2. Jesus did it- The thing I love about Jesus is that he doesn't do #1. As we'll cover throughout this series, Jesus is pretty blunt about the realities of following Him. He was clear that there would be struggles to come. I figure if Jesus did it....I can do it too.
As I began to think through this series, I realized something though. That with every burden that I discovered, there was a glimpse of hope that accompanied it. That's the beauty of God. When there's something hard, God provides something to give hope. We'll cover that side of things as well.
So that's the explanation. My request of you is to open your mind and heart as I venture down this road for a little bit. If you read the burden, take a minute to read the hope that comes with it.
I think that's it for now. Talk to you soon.
Jon
The problem comes when what God is putting on my heart is tough to say and tough to hear.
I've been sitting on this one for a while. It's been percolating up in my brain which can be dangerous. It's grown from a single thought to a multi-part series that is still growing. But it's tough to write something as you are still trying to figure out. So the next few posts are going to be part of my processing.
I'm calling this series. The Burden of Following God
Just the title is hard for me to write. I guess it's because for 10 years I've tried to tell people of all of the great things about following God. It seems weird to start a post talking about the burdens of following God. I mean why would you want to talk about the negative aspects of a potential decision?
"Hello sir. You should buy this car! It's got an amazing interior. It has awesome engine in it! And it gets 3 miles to the gallon which will cause you quickly to abandon your child's college fund and you'll have to mortgage your house in order to afford the gas for it!"
So that's a crappy analogy but you get the idea. It's weird to start off by talking about the burdens of something. So why do it?
1. I Hate Sugar Coating- Unless it's on top of an otherwise bland bowl of cereal, I hate sugar coating. But in the church, we've done this for far too long. We've made it sound like following God is a walk in the park. Like all of a sudden when you follow God, everyone sings everywhere they go and there are always flowers and puppies. (this going on the assumption that flowers and puppies make people happy). The truth is that life is still hard after following God...and sometimes it's hard as a result of it. (sometimes the flowers give you allergies and the puppies pee on your new shoes). I feel like it's time to be honest with people. Following God is hard.
2. Jesus did it- The thing I love about Jesus is that he doesn't do #1. As we'll cover throughout this series, Jesus is pretty blunt about the realities of following Him. He was clear that there would be struggles to come. I figure if Jesus did it....I can do it too.
As I began to think through this series, I realized something though. That with every burden that I discovered, there was a glimpse of hope that accompanied it. That's the beauty of God. When there's something hard, God provides something to give hope. We'll cover that side of things as well.
So that's the explanation. My request of you is to open your mind and heart as I venture down this road for a little bit. If you read the burden, take a minute to read the hope that comes with it.
I think that's it for now. Talk to you soon.
Jon
Friday, May 6, 2011
WholeSale Craziness
My wife doesn't let me go grocery shopping. I mean that when I say it. Apparently I get lost in grocery stores. What takes 15 minutes usually takes me 2 hours. I come home with stuff that wasn't on the list. It's sad really.
Which is why I was surprised when my wife asked me to go to a local wholesale club to pick up a few things. You know wholesale clubs, like Sam's or Costco. Mollie had 3 coupons that were going to expire so she sent me with them to go shopping. What followed was an hour long trek through one of the weirdest stores ever.
I've been to wholesale clubs before. But I think that this was the first time I've ever been to one where my main goal was not to hit every sample food table multiple time. (seriously, this is a lost art). So I got a chance to look around at my surroundings. I was overwhelmed! Here are a few of my thoughts about wholesale clubs as a whole....
1. Where is the peanut butter?- Seriously. Your store is roughly the size of 8 football fields and there aren't any signs point to anything. Where do you keep the peanut butter? I walked the perimeter of the store twice and still couldn't find it. I could have asked but I was convinced it was in some super easy location and I didn't want to look like an idiot.....so instead I walked around for 20 minutes with an empty cart and a look on my face that said, "I'm a man and therefore I'm lost." I did find the peanut butter though. It was way in the back next to the Gatorade. I guess that makes sense. Then I realized I was buying 88 ounces of it. Who needs that much peanut butter? I feel like George Washington Carver used less than that in his entire career. But it's ok. I had a coupon after all.
2. Disturbing Products - On the quest to find the PB, I passed an item that greatly disturbed me. It was the generic brand of mayonnaise. Now I think that mayo, is from the devil anyway so what I saw on this label disturbed me even greater. "Real Mayonnaise" REAL MAYONNAISE?? Isn't all mayonnaise real? I mean what exactly is Fake Mayonnaise? Would anyone buy it? I mean what is the slogan for fake mayonnaise? "The best imitation crap on a spoon you can buy!" Just thinking about it makes me want to throw up. ugh. Luckily I still had my coupons to keep me motivated in my shopping
3. Would you like a surfboard with that? - on my PB quest there was one point in which I stopped to look around. Within 15 feet of me were the following items: Shrimp Cocktail, Hamburger Patties, Pizza, a shed, a surfboard, a ocean kayak, a gas grill, and a swing. I felt like I had died and gone to A.D.D heaven. I mean you have to be A.D.D to shop in that order. "Hey honey can you pick up some hamburger patties...oh and while you are there, grab an ocean kayak if they have them. Just seeing all of those items in one place made me want to take a nap...which I could do on the mattress that someone was carting out the door. Still I plugged on for the rest of the items on my coupons. After all that's what I was there for.
4. Underwear- I'm sorry if you do this but do we really need to buy underwear from a wholesale club? I mean how bad off are you if you need 42 pairs of tightie whities. I understand if say a wolverine gets loose in your closet but seriously, how often does that happen? Like once every couple of years? Plus how do you know if you are getting quality undergarments? That's just odd. Do they have coupons for underwear? I didn't, so I kept moving coupons in tow.
5. Register Extras - So I track down all of my items on my coupons and head up to the register. I was lucky because I just had one guy in front of me and he was part of the way through his order. The cashier looked up at him and asked, "Sir, would you like to donate some money to the Children's Miracle Network?" I'm not sure why they ask. I've never seen someone actually say yes. In fact when I worked at a grocery store I got tired of asking because the answer was always no. So as I stood there and waited it caught me off guard when the man said "yes". What? He said yes. The cashier had an look of overwhelming joy. "THANK YOU SIR! THANK YOU!" I can't believe it.
It might have been selfish of me but all I could think of was..."oh great, now if I say no I'm going to look like a jerk." I started to think through how I was going to tell this now radiant cashier that I wasn't going to be giving him any extra money. Do I look sad that I'm not? Do I just shake my head no? That stupid guy in front of me. I can't believe the position he has put me in. Now I look like I'm a children hater because he gives money and I don't. I can't stand him. Such a jerk.
While I'm getting rung up, the cashier asks me and I softly say no. I didn't look up but I'm pretty sure that he was giving me the glare of shame. I paid for my stuff and left. As I left I sat in my car and steamed (felt bad) for the kids. None of it would have happened if it weren't for captain generosity in front of me. That guy was terrible...I looked for a chance to pull out and head to the exit. There were tons of cars leaving. They all passed until one car stopped to let me out. It was the guy who was in front of me in line......jerk.
I started to drive home. At one of the stoplights on the way to my house I glanced down. Sitting right in my shirt pocket were three coupons....never used. My wife was going to kill me.
Portions of this tale are true, and portions are fiction. See if you can guess which is which.....comment your thoughts below.
Which is why I was surprised when my wife asked me to go to a local wholesale club to pick up a few things. You know wholesale clubs, like Sam's or Costco. Mollie had 3 coupons that were going to expire so she sent me with them to go shopping. What followed was an hour long trek through one of the weirdest stores ever.
I've been to wholesale clubs before. But I think that this was the first time I've ever been to one where my main goal was not to hit every sample food table multiple time. (seriously, this is a lost art). So I got a chance to look around at my surroundings. I was overwhelmed! Here are a few of my thoughts about wholesale clubs as a whole....
1. Where is the peanut butter?- Seriously. Your store is roughly the size of 8 football fields and there aren't any signs point to anything. Where do you keep the peanut butter? I walked the perimeter of the store twice and still couldn't find it. I could have asked but I was convinced it was in some super easy location and I didn't want to look like an idiot.....so instead I walked around for 20 minutes with an empty cart and a look on my face that said, "I'm a man and therefore I'm lost." I did find the peanut butter though. It was way in the back next to the Gatorade. I guess that makes sense. Then I realized I was buying 88 ounces of it. Who needs that much peanut butter? I feel like George Washington Carver used less than that in his entire career. But it's ok. I had a coupon after all.
2. Disturbing Products - On the quest to find the PB, I passed an item that greatly disturbed me. It was the generic brand of mayonnaise. Now I think that mayo, is from the devil anyway so what I saw on this label disturbed me even greater. "Real Mayonnaise" REAL MAYONNAISE?? Isn't all mayonnaise real? I mean what exactly is Fake Mayonnaise? Would anyone buy it? I mean what is the slogan for fake mayonnaise? "The best imitation crap on a spoon you can buy!" Just thinking about it makes me want to throw up. ugh. Luckily I still had my coupons to keep me motivated in my shopping
3. Would you like a surfboard with that? - on my PB quest there was one point in which I stopped to look around. Within 15 feet of me were the following items: Shrimp Cocktail, Hamburger Patties, Pizza, a shed, a surfboard, a ocean kayak, a gas grill, and a swing. I felt like I had died and gone to A.D.D heaven. I mean you have to be A.D.D to shop in that order. "Hey honey can you pick up some hamburger patties...oh and while you are there, grab an ocean kayak if they have them. Just seeing all of those items in one place made me want to take a nap...which I could do on the mattress that someone was carting out the door. Still I plugged on for the rest of the items on my coupons. After all that's what I was there for.
4. Underwear- I'm sorry if you do this but do we really need to buy underwear from a wholesale club? I mean how bad off are you if you need 42 pairs of tightie whities. I understand if say a wolverine gets loose in your closet but seriously, how often does that happen? Like once every couple of years? Plus how do you know if you are getting quality undergarments? That's just odd. Do they have coupons for underwear? I didn't, so I kept moving coupons in tow.
5. Register Extras - So I track down all of my items on my coupons and head up to the register. I was lucky because I just had one guy in front of me and he was part of the way through his order. The cashier looked up at him and asked, "Sir, would you like to donate some money to the Children's Miracle Network?" I'm not sure why they ask. I've never seen someone actually say yes. In fact when I worked at a grocery store I got tired of asking because the answer was always no. So as I stood there and waited it caught me off guard when the man said "yes". What? He said yes. The cashier had an look of overwhelming joy. "THANK YOU SIR! THANK YOU!" I can't believe it.
It might have been selfish of me but all I could think of was..."oh great, now if I say no I'm going to look like a jerk." I started to think through how I was going to tell this now radiant cashier that I wasn't going to be giving him any extra money. Do I look sad that I'm not? Do I just shake my head no? That stupid guy in front of me. I can't believe the position he has put me in. Now I look like I'm a children hater because he gives money and I don't. I can't stand him. Such a jerk.
While I'm getting rung up, the cashier asks me and I softly say no. I didn't look up but I'm pretty sure that he was giving me the glare of shame. I paid for my stuff and left. As I left I sat in my car and steamed (felt bad) for the kids. None of it would have happened if it weren't for captain generosity in front of me. That guy was terrible...I looked for a chance to pull out and head to the exit. There were tons of cars leaving. They all passed until one car stopped to let me out. It was the guy who was in front of me in line......jerk.
I started to drive home. At one of the stoplights on the way to my house I glanced down. Sitting right in my shirt pocket were three coupons....never used. My wife was going to kill me.
Portions of this tale are true, and portions are fiction. See if you can guess which is which.....comment your thoughts below.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
I Lost My Mojo.
I should probably start this post with a disclaimer. The word "mojo" has several meanings. It references witchcraft, voodoo, and drug use. It is most commonly used to refer to sexual prowess thanks to Austin Powers. Since it would be incredibly awkward for all of you to read a post about that, I'm going to use it to mean confidence for this post. Now that I think about it I could have just said that I lost my confidence...but that doesn't sound as good.
Boy this post isn't starting out well. That won't help get my mojo back. Let's keep going.
The truth is that the past two months have been a little rough for me. I've had a number of things happen that have really shaken my confidence for whatever reason. They've shaken my confidence in my job, in my writing, and in life in general. And to be completely honest, it sucks.
It sucks to write something and think..."this isn't really that good" (i'm doing that right now)
It sucks to plan something and think..."i bet no one will like this"
It sucks to have to make a decision and think..."I bet someone will complain about this."
I don't write all of this to complain,or to look for sympathy. I write it for a couple of reasons. First, to be honest and clear about the life of pastors. I think in America people, expect pastors to be super humans who never struggle and can do every aspect of ministry perfectly. My hope is to be honest and human about being a pastor. But that's only a small part of why I write this.
The main reason is that I'm writing in an attempt to identify with you and offer a bit of hope. The thing about losing your mojo is that at some point it happens to everyone. Depending on where you are in life you might be experiencing it right now. Everyone goes through it. That's the good news.
I'm reminded of Moses at times like these. Moses had the good life. He was raised in the house of Pharaoh. It would be adequate to say he was the son of a king. Given how Pharaohs were seen in Egyptian culture, it would be more correct that He was viewed as the son of a god (although adopted of course) He had it made. Then he made a mistake. He got emotional when he saw an Egyptian guard beating an Israelite. So He kills the guard. This didn't make Pharaoh happy and he tried to kill Moses. Moses had to go on the run and settle for a life of being a shepherd.
Son of a King to a shepherd. Talk about losing your mojo. Moses had to be in rough shape.
That's when God steps in to do something big with Moses. He talks to him through the burning bush. I think that's funny. Why a burning bush? If God does that with me, I hope He uses a bear that talks kind of like Yogi Bear. "Hiyah Jon, You should feed the homeless with some pic-i-nic baskets." haha. I'm just thinking about that. Anyways I digress..
God tells Moses to go toe to toe with the most powerful man in the world. The man who was trying to kill Moses. The best part of this story is that Moses gives God all kinds of excuses as to why he shouldn't be the one to do the job.
Moses didn't have any confidence in himself and much less confidence in God. Moses at one point complained that he wasn't a very good public speaker to which God responded, "who made your mouth?" I can see God getting impatient and just saying, "TRUST ME! I'M GOD!"
That's what it comes down to isn't it? trusting God? When we get past how shaky our confidence is and just trust in God, He shows up and does some crazy awesome stuff.
God made me.
God made me a youth pastor and he'll tell me what to do next.
God made me a husband and father and he'll tell me how to lead my family next.
God made me a writer and He'll tell me what to write next.
All I have to do is trust Him.
That's where I'll find my mojo.
Have you lost your mojo? Where do you need to trust God?
Boy this post isn't starting out well. That won't help get my mojo back. Let's keep going.
The truth is that the past two months have been a little rough for me. I've had a number of things happen that have really shaken my confidence for whatever reason. They've shaken my confidence in my job, in my writing, and in life in general. And to be completely honest, it sucks.
It sucks to write something and think..."this isn't really that good" (i'm doing that right now)
It sucks to plan something and think..."i bet no one will like this"
It sucks to have to make a decision and think..."I bet someone will complain about this."
I don't write all of this to complain,or to look for sympathy. I write it for a couple of reasons. First, to be honest and clear about the life of pastors. I think in America people, expect pastors to be super humans who never struggle and can do every aspect of ministry perfectly. My hope is to be honest and human about being a pastor. But that's only a small part of why I write this.
The main reason is that I'm writing in an attempt to identify with you and offer a bit of hope. The thing about losing your mojo is that at some point it happens to everyone. Depending on where you are in life you might be experiencing it right now. Everyone goes through it. That's the good news.
I'm reminded of Moses at times like these. Moses had the good life. He was raised in the house of Pharaoh. It would be adequate to say he was the son of a king. Given how Pharaohs were seen in Egyptian culture, it would be more correct that He was viewed as the son of a god (although adopted of course) He had it made. Then he made a mistake. He got emotional when he saw an Egyptian guard beating an Israelite. So He kills the guard. This didn't make Pharaoh happy and he tried to kill Moses. Moses had to go on the run and settle for a life of being a shepherd.
Son of a King to a shepherd. Talk about losing your mojo. Moses had to be in rough shape.
That's when God steps in to do something big with Moses. He talks to him through the burning bush. I think that's funny. Why a burning bush? If God does that with me, I hope He uses a bear that talks kind of like Yogi Bear. "Hiyah Jon, You should feed the homeless with some pic-i-nic baskets." haha. I'm just thinking about that. Anyways I digress..
God tells Moses to go toe to toe with the most powerful man in the world. The man who was trying to kill Moses. The best part of this story is that Moses gives God all kinds of excuses as to why he shouldn't be the one to do the job.
Moses didn't have any confidence in himself and much less confidence in God. Moses at one point complained that he wasn't a very good public speaker to which God responded, "who made your mouth?" I can see God getting impatient and just saying, "TRUST ME! I'M GOD!"
That's what it comes down to isn't it? trusting God? When we get past how shaky our confidence is and just trust in God, He shows up and does some crazy awesome stuff.
God made me.
God made me a youth pastor and he'll tell me what to do next.
God made me a husband and father and he'll tell me how to lead my family next.
God made me a writer and He'll tell me what to write next.
All I have to do is trust Him.
That's where I'll find my mojo.
Have you lost your mojo? Where do you need to trust God?
Friday, April 1, 2011
The Quick and the Dirty: Dressing Room Signs
I hate going into the dressing room to try stuff on. Part of it is that I'm a guy and well I should know what size I am. Another part is that I would rather drive home, try it on there, and drive back then use the semi-private phone booth that they call a dressing room. Today I had to go to Target to get some running shorts for the 10k tomorrow. I didn't want to try them on...but my wife insisted that I try them on before I left. (I'm finding that she's usually right about these things) While in the midst of my shorts adventure I noticed a few things about the dressing room.
First, why are there 17 mirrors in one dressing room. Ladies, I'm blaming you. There's no way a man came out of a dressing room and said the phrase "How do you expect me to see how these pants fit in the rear?" Seriously. I felt like I was in a fun house somewhere. I half expected a Carnie to knock on the door and try to guess my weight. But that's not what this post is about. This post is about the following picture.
There's something wrong with this song. It's not grammatical. At least not as far as I can tell.
My problem with this sign is the word swimwear.
Maybe I'm being a little picky but shouldn't the sign read:
Please leave on undergarments when trying on EVERYTHING!
My use of the exclamation point may seem excessive but I feel that I can't express enough the fact that you should probably keep your underwear no matter what. I mean if you like the commando lifestyle in clothes that you've purchased that's cool.
But for these clothes that are about to be put back on the rack so that some unassuming person will grab and try on next, you should definitely keep your underoo's on.
So please, please, for the sake of humanity. Keep your undergarments on when you are trying on things!!
Jon
First, why are there 17 mirrors in one dressing room. Ladies, I'm blaming you. There's no way a man came out of a dressing room and said the phrase "How do you expect me to see how these pants fit in the rear?" Seriously. I felt like I was in a fun house somewhere. I half expected a Carnie to knock on the door and try to guess my weight. But that's not what this post is about. This post is about the following picture.
There's something wrong with this song. It's not grammatical. At least not as far as I can tell.
My problem with this sign is the word swimwear.
Maybe I'm being a little picky but shouldn't the sign read:
Please leave on undergarments when trying on EVERYTHING!
My use of the exclamation point may seem excessive but I feel that I can't express enough the fact that you should probably keep your underwear no matter what. I mean if you like the commando lifestyle in clothes that you've purchased that's cool.
But for these clothes that are about to be put back on the rack so that some unassuming person will grab and try on next, you should definitely keep your underoo's on.
So please, please, for the sake of humanity. Keep your undergarments on when you are trying on things!!
Jon
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